Beneath Your Beautiful
by abbyli
Summary: "It's quite simple. One of you must give up your vampirism," the witch says. "And it must be the one that has the closest emotional connection to Bonnie." Caroline is opening her mouth and raising her hand but the witch shushes her, pointing to Damon. "You. You are the one that has to do it if you want Bonnie to be alive again."
1. The Truth

**title: **Let Me See Beneath Your Beautiful

**summary: **You open your mouth to warn him, to say anything at all. Seconds later you are pushed back to the other side, practically obliterated by a single slash of power and magic. Damon's helpless cries fill you with fear and you wonder why you care so much. You try to push past the barrier, to do anything at all.

**characters: **bonnie/damon, stefan/caroline, matt/rebekah later

**rating: **T, could change to M later, strong rating for much swearing.

**disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing. If I did...

**notes: **Plot bunnies, stop having babies! Grr, I feel like I am cheating on my beloved Kennett.

i. So this was requested as a oneshot by justareader but it has blown into a full blown multichapter. With seeing how handsy Ian and Kat got at comic-con, I couldn't resist. I wonder if that was a hint about season 5? Hmm, I shouldn't get my hopes up.

ii. Prologue is in second person point of view and will go back to third person next chapter.

.

.

.

'watch your step, love is broken  
i am ever tear you cry  
save your breath, your heart has spoken  
you already have my life  
so i am finding out that love will kill me and save me  
taking the dreams that have made me up  
and tearing them away  
but the same love will take this heart that's barely beating  
and fill it with hope beyond the stars'

**-'the beauty and the tragedy', trading yesterday**

**.**

**.**

You should be walking on fucking air right now.

Elena chose you. You were able to say goodbye to your brother. Life was good.

And for a while, it was.

It became evident that something was missing. A gaping hole was gazing out of your chest and there was absolutely nothing that fill it. It didn't matter how many times you and Elena made love or how many bottles of vodka you threw back or those few times you snuck out to have fresh blood.

You call Stefan at least a dozen times and every time, it goes right to voicemail. You can't ignore the tinge of pain in your chest each time your hear your brother's short and courteous voice on the machine. You leave a message the first couple of times but after a while, you just hang up and throw the phone across the room.

And finally, you call Judgy.

So what? You kind of missed her tiny little pursed lips and demeaning stare. For some reason, you always found the need to defend your assholey self whenever you were around her because she never let you get away with anything. You even saw her phone contacts one time and noticed that you were so lovingly filed under the name of 'Narcissistic Jackass'.

Awww, how touching. You didn't know you meant so much to her.

It's kind of surprising when she doesn't pick up after at least twenty tries.

"Bonnie, what the fuck! Call me!" is the last message you leave before you almost stomp your phone to bits. You stop yourself in time because you know that she will eventually call you back and you will kind of need that stupid phone.

**/**

Things don't work out the way you had hoped with Elena. For the longest time possible, it was great. Lots of sex, lots of blood, lots of everything.

But there's something missing.

And then your brother shows up.

He just fucking shows up out of the blue. No warning, no nothing.

What surprises you the most is that even though he acts like a prick (you expected that), he seems almost prideful about it. You can tell just by looking at him that he hasn't blown back to ripper status, that he's just-different.

It scares you. It scares you more than you thought possible.

Stefan only stays about a day and you can already tell that there is something horribly wrong here. Elena is oblivious and practically fawns all over him and he laps it up like a patient little dog. It's then when it clicks in your mind. No matter how much Stefan cared about Elena or loved her, he had finally hit that wall in the end. He would have told Elena to put a sock in it and get her hands off of him.

Minutes before he leaves, you manage to get Elena out of the house and you shepherd Stefan into the kitchen. You whirl around to glare at your brother and find someone else looking back at you.

"Bonnie?"

The little witch's eyes are wide with fear and warning. She opens her mouth to tell you something, to shout out a cautionary cry and then an arm slashes right through her, making her disappear into the smoke that had built her up.

"I've told her to stop doing that."

You stare like a gaping fish at what you had just seen. It's impossible.

And your brother stares at you too, a playful little smirk on his lips.

You know. You just freaking know.

"Silas."

You fly at the bastard, your teeth out and bared, ready to dig your fangs into his throat and rip out his jugular. You've gone face to face with Originals and what Silas does to you makes the showdown with Mikael seem like a walk in the park.

A howl of pain leaves your throat as his hand slips into your chest, clasping onto your heart and squeezing.

"Tell me where my brother is," you manage to force out as your eyes begin to roll back in your head.

Silas chuckles in your face, looking almost gleeful. "That's for me to know and you to find out," he says. "But I will give ya a hint about that little witch you've been lusting over."

Anger clenches your almost fully dead heart at the mention of Bonnie. You feel a strange urge of possession for the witch and remember that she would try to knock out your teeth if you ever said anything like that to her face.

Silas leans closer to you, his lips practically grazing your ear. You have to close your eyes because even though you know that this isn't your little brother, he is still wearing his face. All you really want to spit out is a demand for him to shed your brother's face but for some reason, you know he can't. It is all too real.

"Try," Silas says silkily. "To see."

What the fuck does that mean?

"Hrragmph," is your garbled reply, blood filling your mouth and sliding down your throat. You choke on it and spat it onto your front, desperate to clear your airway.

Silas laughs again. "Try to see," he repeats with a smooth voice. "It's quite nice there, actually."

His hand tightens around your heart and you see lights dancing before your eyes.

And then his hand rips out, still coated in your blood but empty.

He stares at his own arm for just a second, his borrowed green eyes wide with shock. You can feel power, familiar power, building up in the house. Light shines through every window, blinding the both of you. You throw up an arm to cover your eyes, not really caring anymore if you die or not.

And then it's gone, as quick as it came. You bring your arm down and see Silas sitting on the floor, looking just a little confused. You take advantage of that and swoop on him, pinning him to the wall with your fingers tight around his throat.

"Where's my brother, you son of a bitch?! Where the hell is my brother!"

Reality sets in and Silas smirks for the final time.

"Have a nice long life, Damon," he says. "Without your brother or your witch."

And he disappears into nothing, leaving you there all alone.

You try to hold onto those strings of everlasting power that have linked you to her. To everything you have ever wanted and have been too stupid to even realize.

"_Bonnie!" _

* * *

The afterlife is just as Kol said it would be.

So alone. Holding onto straws of nothing, seeing your loved ones slowly move on. Or be out of the loop, just like you wanted them to be.

You watch Elena and Caroline make plans for college, occasionally mentioning you and when you would be joining them. You see a little bit of hurt in Caroline's eyes and you feel love swell in your dead heart for the blonde. You should have known...

You watch Matty continue to work at the Grille after getting back from his globe trotting trip with Rebekah. You can't help but notice the happiness in your friend's eyes and you feel even more love swell for him. Despite the fact that this is Rebekah that he is with, she is making him happier than he ever was. You are there though when he mentions you to Jeremy and you see the guilt flare in Jeremy's eyes. More guilt slides through you because you know you are being just too damn selfish and you should let your friends know that you are gone.

But you can't. There has just been too damn much happening in these last weeks and with the fact that you are dead, you know it will send Elena back over the edge. Ever since getting her humanity back, she was still teetering on that line of letting it all go or trying to hold onto who she once was. She was already dealing with way too much shit after what she did to both her, Caroline, and Matt and you can't do that. You just can't do that to her.

You see something that you wish you could un-see. You wish you could erase it from your memory, from your mind but it is unbearable.

You see Stefan return to town a lot quicker than you thought he would. Caroline had told you that he willing walked away from Elena and Damon after Elena had chosen Damon. She also recounted how much pain Stefan had been in, being hurt so badly by his brother and Elena and neither of them even really realizing it. You can practically feel the love that Caroline has for the vampire and wonder if maybe something will happen later on.

But this Stefan-it's not right. Something's not right.

You watch him as he stalks around Mystic Falls, feeding his fill. Even dead, you are still quite squeamish and the sight of him drinking out of a poor girl's neck is so unsettling. But you are dead and there is nothing you can do. You aren't surprised when he lets the young girl go, though. No need for more 'animal attacks' at this moment.

And then he approaches Elena and Damon, practically radiating glee.

You know.

You just fucking know.

You try your best to break through the damn barrier between you and the living. You hear Kol's words in your head, practically mocking you at how right he was. Stupid jerk.

A miracle happens, a miracle of sorts anyway, and you break through. To the wrong person.

"I highly recommend you get out of my head, little witch."

"Takes one to know one, don't you think?"

He shuts you down after that and it doesn't matter how much yelling and screaming you do, the wall doesn't go back down.

It pisses you off to no avail that you can't do anything anymore. It's in your blood to help, to be there. It's the reason why magic flows through your veins.

So you sit back and watch and hope. You hope like hell that there will be a way.

It surprises you when Damon almost immediately figures out that Silas is not Stefan.

He gets an obviously oblivious Elena out of the house and tries to (stupidly) attack Silas, to get information out of him.

And somehow, you break through.

One minute, his back is turned, hands under the running water in the kitchen sink, fangs preparing to slide out.

And then his eyes are wide in shock as he sees you for the first time since before your death.

"Bonnie?"

You open your mouth to warn him, to say anything at all. Seconds later you are pushed back to the other side, practically obliterated by a single slash of power and magic.

Damon's helpless cries fill you with fear and you wonder why you care so much. You try to push past the barrier, to do anything at all. If you did it once, you can do it again, dammit!

Silas has his hands in Damon's chest, blood spurting from almost every orifice on his face when you manage to bust the barrier for the final time. White Power shines through the windows, causing them to rattle and shatter into millions of tiny little pieces. It blinds both vampires, stunning Silas to the fact that he falls down against the opposing wall. Damon gains a moment of power, looking around wildly before he demands his brother's location once again.

Silas smiles. He just _smiles. _

"Have a nice long lonely life, Damon," he says. "Without your brother _or _your witch."

You try to hold onto him, to pin him there but you can't. He practically swats at you like a fly and disappears into nothingness.

And you swallow back tears as you watch Damon, grasping at nothing.

"_Bonnie!" _

**.**

**.**

**.**

* * *

**Second person point of view is so irritating to write in but in this prologue, it fits. Back to third person next chapter. **

**Should I continue? **


	2. Find Me

_**Find Me**_

* * *

**.**

**.**

He waits. He wonders.

He dies.

He wakes.

He opens his mouth to cry out in agony from the nightmare.

And dies again.

He dreams about silvery grey eyes and strong hands, pulling him just before he falls to his knees on the gravelly road. He hears a light laugh and his name being said. He feels his brother near.

A cascade of blonde curls falls near his shoulder and he turns slightly, gazing into the softest aquamarine eyes. A tiny smile curls her pink lips up and he can't help but smile too. Her smile was always so infectious.

He waits.

He wonders.

He dies.

_Please find me. Find me. _

* * *

Damon sinks into denial.

He pushes everything that he has seen from his mind, telling himself over and over that it was all a hazed bloodied dream. The cracks in the wall beg to differ though.

Elena buys the story that he feeds her, that his feet got all tangled up in a scuffle with 'Stefan' and he hit the wall, causing the damage. She mends the cracks with plaster of paris and paints over with white, making the evidence disappear.

But it doesn't disappear from Damon's mind. In fact, it feeds on him like another vampire. It never leaves his mind.

Every time he closes his eyes to sleep, he sees Bonnie's terrified hazel eyes.

Every time he casts a smile over his shoulder, he expects to see his brother grinning sheepishly back at him.

But they aren't there.

And Damon begins to forget.

* * *

Bonnie stands there, stiff as a statue.

She can feel it. She can feel Stefan's life force, trickling away like it was never there.

He's fading. Fading fast.

She still can't believe what she has seen. What she can feel. It scares her more than anything has frightened her in her whole entire too short of a life and afterlife.

There's no one who she can reach out too. Once she and her Grams had stepped to the other side, Grams had disappeared. It frightens her to no end because she doesn't want to be alone. There is no one she can be alone again.

Her link with Jeremy is shutting down and she realizes why. The more—the more that she reaches out to Damon, the more she pulls away from her love.

But Stefan…Stefan doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this for one instant and with this psycho still walking around wearing his face, the more oblivious others are going to be. Honestly, doesn't anyone remember the whole Katherine incident?

**. .**

Bonnie throws herself at the barrier, trying her hardest to make any kind of noise heard to the living...er, the _un_-living.

Elena carries on in her kitchen duties, blissfully unaware of her dead best friend standing mere feet away. She opens up the fridge and pulls out a blood bag, popping the top and sucking on the end a bit. She lays it on the counter and goes back to the dishes that she had been washing moments before.

"Hey, are you drinking a blood-bag?" Damon's voice carries to Bonnie's ears and she rolls her eyes. Ever since that horrid night, he had pretty much shut down, choosing to ignore everything he had learned like the denier jerk he is.

"Yeah, it's on the counter," Elena answers as she works to scrub out a pot. "Have at it."

Damon enters the kitchen and makes for the bag. Just as his fingers reach it, his ring glitters in the chandelier light.

And he freezes.

"Can you see me?" she whispers, her heart swelling with shock and hope and so many other things rolled up into one.

Damon gives a weak nod, his eyes wide. His hand skates away from the bag and he turns towards Elena.

"Hey, Elena. Can you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"You're going grocery shopping in a little while, correct? I was wondering if you could swing by the hospital and swipe some more blood-bags."

"Damon, we already have ten bags in there. I think that's enough to last us a while."

"Well, I think Blondie and the wolf are going to be coming over," he invents wildly. Bonnie lets out a highly audible groan of annoyance, wondering if Elena is going to buy that at all. "Didn't you say they were?"

"Yes, I did," Elena says, turning off the running water and wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "But _Caroline _and _Tyler _aren't going to be here until early tomorrow."

"Blondie texted me and said that they might be here tonight."

Elena glances at her phone, brow furrowed. "Nothing here. Well, I guess so," she says, disbelief in her eyes. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to get rid of me."

Damon laughs a little too loudly. "Now, why would I do that?"

Elena chuckles too. "Okay, Damon. Whatever you say." With that, she reaches over to where her purse is sitting on the kitchen stool and leans up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. Bonnie finds herself rolling her eyes at this.

Once Elena disappears, Bonnie opens her mouth to speak but Damon holds up a hand to stop her and then points to his ear. She gets the hint and waits impatiently, practically bouncing up and down her heels.

"What the hell is going on?!" Damon blurts out. "Why are you here in ghost form? Are you-?"

"Yes, I'm dead," Bonnie spits back. "And I have absolutely no idea why I am still running around here but I am and I am glad I am because—"

"Because why, Bonnie?!" Damon growls. "I don't want to see you! I don't want you popping up and interfering in my love life. And—and why the hell are you dead?" His voice goes from anger to confusion in a matter of seconds and it makes Bonnie's head spin.

She sighs softly. "That's something we can talk about later."

"What do you mean?"

"It's Stefan."

For a second, she wonders if Damon swallowed the way his tongue. If the situation wasn't so dire, she would have found the look on his face hilarious.

"Wh—what do you mean? What about him?"

That's when she slaps him right on the forehead. And realizes that she can actually touch him.

"Please tell me you felt that," she murmurs.

"Actually, no," Damon grumbles. "My brother is fine. He's the world's biggest dick right now but he's—"

"That wasn't Stefan, you ass!" Bonnie cries. "That was Silas! That wasn't some blood drugged out haze, jerk, that was real! And Stefan is—"

"Stefan is what, Bonnie?!" Damon interrupts. Rude. "Stefan's what? He's run off to Paris and is enjoying the high life? Maybe he went back on Ripper mode and followed Klaus to New Orleans. Or maybe—"

"Maybe Silas locked him in a safe and he's at the bottom of a lake."

Again with the stupid staring.

It takes about a minute and then big brother mode kicks in. Relief swoops through her belly, glad to discover that Damon Salvatore actually does give a damn about his little brother.

"Where is he? What lake?"

Bonnie opens her mouth to answer. And the barrier goes back up.

Damon looks around wildly for her, letting out a cry. "_Damn it!" _

* * *

Bonnie blinks, taking in her surroundings.

And finds herself looking at Jeremy.

"Damn it, Jeremy!" she curses before she can get control of her tongue.

Jeremy blinks, shock in his eyes before it gets overshadowed by hurt. "What? What's the matter?"

Bonnie runs a tired hand through her hair. Can she be tired if she's dead?

"Nothing, Jeremy. Nothing."

She can hear his voice, calling her name. It's so distant but it's there, tugging at her heart.

Bonnie wonders why she should care a single bit. It's frustrating to her that through this, it's because of her loyalty to Stefan that her connection to Damon is growing. She should want both of them to suffer greatly. She should just enjoy her sparse moments with Jeremy before some great force pulls her into the afterlife or the other side or whatever the hell there is there permanently. She shouldn't want to get back to him.

"Actually, it's something," Bonnie breathes, leaning forward to touch his face.

And her hand goes right through.

"Oh, my god."

Jeremy had seen it too. His handsome dark eyes widen in shock too and he takes a step away from her.

"What's going on?"

Damon's voice is louder in her head. She flinches slightly, the need getting stronger.

"I have to go, Jeremy," she whispers. "I'm sorry."

And she's gone. Just like that.

* * *

He waits. He wonders.

And he dies.

_Find me...please find me..._

_._

_._

* * *

**Irritatingly short chapter. I apologize for this. It's sort of a prologue for what's coming up next. Lots of Bamon/Baroline/Daroline friendship angst. With it all being about saving Stefan and Damon's inability to comprehend what's going, got lots of Bamon snarkiness. Who can resist? **


	3. Un-Alive

_**Un-Alive**_

* * *

Damon's lie comes true minutes later.

Caroline tumbles through the front door, calling out for he and Elena, the loud audible sounds of her bags dropping to the floor following her loud screeching voice.

Damon tries to ignore her for a second, his eyes peeling around the kitchen for Bonnie, praying with all of his might that she'll miraculously appear again.

"Damon? Elena? Come on, I hear you breathing!"

He winces slightly, Caroline's voice weighing on his mind.

And Bonnie reappears just as Caroline rounds the corner into the kitchen. The blonde lets out a shrill shriek that causes both vampire and ghost to cover their ears and wince.

Bonnie stares at her friend for a second, tears starting to burn her eyes. "Can-can you see me, Caroline?" she asks softly, hoping like hell this is just all a horrid dream.

Caroline nods. "How did you do that? Is that a new witchy trick that you learned from your mom?" she asks. "You scared the hell out of me."

Damon and Bonnie lock eyes over the top of Caroline's eyes, a painful reminder that Caroline has no idea that Bonnie is dead.

But she can see her.

"Yeah, something like that," Bonnie says. She can see Damon opening his mouth but she holds up a hand. "Listen, is Tyler coming with you?" she asks.

Caroline shakes her head. "No. He and I have kind of hit a rough patch. He's back at the cottage. I decided to go by myself. Why? What's wrong?" She looks back at Damon. "What's going on?"

"You might as well tell her, Judgy," Damon says.

"Tell me what?"

Bonnie bits her lip hard enough to make it bleed. Of course, it doesn't. "When's the last time you talked to Stefan?"

Caroline looks over Bonnie's head for a moment, forehead furrowed in thought. "Um...I think it was the night of graduation. Lexie had just went back and he was a little blue so-in fact, I think that's the last time I talked to him. Elena told me he left town."

"He didn't," Damon interrupts.

"Excuse me?"

"He's at the bottom of the quarry. He's ok, well, as ok as a vampire can be that is drowning over and over again but-"

"_What do you mean he's at the bottom of the quarry?!" _

Damon winces. "Okay, lower the voice a few octaves, Blondie."

Caroline turns back. "I don't understand. What is going on? Is Stefan ok?"

Bonnie holds up her hands in the 'I surrender' pose, stepping back a few feet. She knows what Caroline is going to do next and she just can't let her do it. She can't.

"He's been neutralized, Caroline. Silas is his doppelganger or shadow self or something," Bonnie glimpses Damon's confused gaze and pulls her own eyes away.

"But he's ok?"

"Somewhat."

"All right, then. Let's go. Let's get him out of there." Caroline begins to make a beeline for the door and finds herself face to face with Damon. "Damon! I know you don't give a crap about your brother but _I _do!"

"Caroline, this isn't-hey!" Bonnie sees a flash of hurt flitting through Damon's eyes, inwardly wincing herself.

"Caroline, we can't go during daylight. We have to go at night when no one's around," Bonnie explains, backing Damon up for some bizarre reason. "Ok?"

Caroline looks back and forth between the two of them. "All right. As soon as night falls. But-but what about Elena? Are you going to tell her? Does she even know?"

Damon shakes his head. "I'm going to send her over to Jeremy's tonight and get her out of our hair. She's only going to screw this up."

"Hey!" Caroline and Bonnie snap in unison. Damon shakes his head, obviously cornered by the two females.

"It's the truth whether you choose to believe it or not," he snaps, shoving past Caroline and going back into the kitchen.

"Damon Salvatore!" Caroline screeches, stomping after him. "Are you worried that she will take one look at Stefan and jump right into his arms?"

"No!" Damon growls, whirling around. Bonnie can't help but roll her eyes.

"_Yes_," she says with a groan. "And don't be ridiculous."

"Listen to Bonnie!" Caroline yelps, waving her hands towards her dead friend. "Lord knows you need too."

"Blondie, I am one second away from ripping your heart out," Damon snarls. "So you better shut up while you've still got a chance."

Caroline opens her mouth to rebut.

"Will both of you shut up?!" Bonnie cries.

The lights flicker.

Damon stares daggers at her, Caroline looks around before raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry."

Caroline just shakes her head. "Never mind. I'm going to go save my friend. No matter if you don't give a big enough crap about your brother."

"Caroline, I think that's enough."

All eyes on Bonnie.

Even Damon looks shocked. "'Scuse me?"

Bonnie practically shrinks into her clothing for a second, wishing desperately to just disappear. Of course, her wishes are not granted.

"This isn't right. You don't even know the whole story. You are not even questioning it for a second and yet, you believe me," Bonnie says, praying that Caroline's dumbfounded expression would just go away and her happy bubbly friend would return.

"Of course I believe you, Bonnie," Caroline says. "I trust you with my life."

And for a split moment in time, Bonnie feels Damon's hard gaze and wishes that she could have done the same for herself. Maybe...just maybe if she had done the same for Caroline she wouldn't be dead.

That's when Caroline takes the floor in three strides, reaching out to pull the smaller girl into her arms. Bonnie tries to step away and Damon even speeds at her to catch her arm but-but-

When Caroline tries to touch Bonnie's arm, she freezes, her eyes going wide.

"Caroline-"

When Damon uses her real name, she knows it's true.

It's all true.

"Oh, god..." the blonde whispers, trying to reach out to Bonnie once again. "Oh, god..."

"Caroline, listen to me," Bonnie begins slowly, pulling her arm out of Caroline's invisible grasp. "You have to listen."

"No, no, no. No, you can't be!" Caroline bursts out, practically slumping against Damon's chest. He steadies her where she stands and she whirls around, eyes black with blood and fangs bared in rage. "Did you kill her?!"

"_What?" _Bonnie and Damon say simultaneously.

At their combined shock, Caroline calms slightly. Just slightly.

She turns around to face Bonnie again, her eyes glazed over with tears. She tries one more time to touch Bonnie's hand, her face absolutely crumbling with grief when she doesn't feel Bonnie's skin beneath her fingertips.

"How?" she whispers.

Bonnie feels her dead heart cracking. "The night before graduation," she says softly. "It was just too much for me."

"You were a ghost at graduation?" Caroline cries softly. "Oh, Bonnie..." And then it dawns on her. "Why can I see you? Why can Damon see you?"

Bonnie shakes her head. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

Tears begin to slip down Caroline's cheeks. "Oh, Bonnie..."

Damon starts to look increasingly uncomfortable. All he needs is for someone to walk in and he'd be caught with two sobbing females.

And then the painful reminder that it's technically one female. No one else can see Bonnie.

Because Bonnie's dead.

Oh, god.

Bonnie's dead.

* * *

Elena returns and Bonnie fades away. When Damon sees her disappear the moment that Elena comes home, some sort of understanding starts to shine through. Not that he likes it one bit.

After a few hours of faked festivities and smiles that he should definitely get an Oscar for, Caroline leaves and Damon and Elena retire to bed.

"Are you all right? You've been kind of weird these last couple of days," Elena whispers, resting her chin on Damon's chest.

Damon looks at her with a raised eyebrow. "No more than usual, I'd think."

Elena rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean."

Damon gives a tiny shake of the head. "I've just got a lot on my mind, Elena. It's been a wacky couple of months."

"You've got that right," Elena replies softly. "How are you?" she asks. "Since...Alaric?"

There's another painful reminder. Damon winces under the quick shine of hurt. "Elena, I really don't-"

The brunette gets the picture and shuts up. "Ok, ok. Sorry about that."

He kisses her gently, brushing his lips against her slightly parted ones. His fingers run through her long hair, catching an occasional tangle here and there. His thoughts skitter back to Stefan and Bonnie and Caroline and all of that and he wants to tell her. Oh god, he wants to tell her everything. She does have the right to know.

And then again...

Elena is asleep within minutes, falling into that heavy doze that will soon wear off the longer she is a vampire. It used to be like that for him too. He was always a heavy sleeper as a human, unlike Stefan who if someone breathed on him, he'd wake up like a gun went off. It would take a gun going off over his head to wake him up. The longer he was a vampire, the harder it would be for him to sleep like he had before.

So he takes advantage of it and carefully slips out of bed, tucking the covers back around the brunette. He makes sure there is a pillow right next to her and dresses quickly, yanking on his clunky boots before vampire speeding out of the house.

Outside, he finds Caroline waiting underneath the large oak tree. She is still in the same clothes that she was in before except for a thick warm brown jacket that adorns her shoulders. He recognizes it as the jacket that Stefan had given her the last time that she had been kidnapped by some crazy wolves. She had never given it back and Stefan had never asked for it back.

"He's gonna need it," Caroline whispers when she catches Damon's gaze. From the deep pocket she pulls two blood bags. "And these too."

Damon unearths two blood bags of his own. "We think alike, Blondie," he says. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

She's fighting the vision as soon as she reaches the lake. That's the only good thing about this dead thing is that she can think about where she wants to go and _boom_, she'll be there.

But this? This thing she could without.

Bonnie clutches at her forehead as the vision takes over and when she opens her eyes, she's three thousand feet under the sea.

Well, maybe not that far but far enough.

Water is rapidly filling up this box that she's inside, tickling at her ears and chin. She shivers as the cold washes over her, opening her mouth to scream. It's just so cold.

So cold.

She bangs on the front of the box, feeling the icy metal beneath her palms. She tries to scream and no sound comes out, her mouth filling with water. She chokes on it, hot tears stinging her eyes and pouring over, joining the chilled depths around her. She tries to scream again, kicking viciously at the metal but her limbs barely even move, already taken down by the cold.

It's too much. Oh, god, it's just too much. Too much.

"_Bonnie!" _

Someone is shouting her name but all she can see is a pair of green eyes. Green eyes that are filled with pain and so much sadness.

And she knows.

Those eyes turn and they are a vibrant diamond grey. Those eyes that are begging her to hold on.

"_Bonnie!" _

A hand comes down and she's back home.

"Bonnie!"

"Damon, he doesn't have much longer," Bonnie manages to choke out as her vision clears. She can feel Damon trying to shake her shoulder but of course, it's not use. It's like he's not even touching her.

And she hates it.

"What?" Caroline's voice is the worst.

"You need to get him out of there now," Bonnie whispers. "If you'd like to still have a brother you need to get him out of there now!"

Damon doesn't need to be told a third time.

He sheds his jacket and sweatshirt, kicking off his boots and sending them flying. Caroline does the same, yanking off Stefan's old jacket and leaving it at Bonnie's feet. She quickly pulls her hair out of her face and cannon balls into the lake, feet first, Damon right behind her.

Bonnie stays on the dock and prays.

* * *

For the first time even, Damon thanks God that he is a vampire. As his head breaks the water and he dives, kicking his feet out behind him, he scans around. Caroline is already swimming ahead of him, her shine of blonde hair cascading behind her in a tumble of mucky waves. It's just so damn dark down here.

So they dive deeper into the darkness.

His field of vision clears out and he looks ahead of him. Caroline turns around, her body a graceful arch. She points below her and his eyes take in the safe. All this damn time and his brother was barely a mile away.

He takes in the words 'Franklin and Pierce' and swallows a cry of anger. Damn Silas. Damn him right back to hell.

Caroline furiously points at the safe again, gesturing with her fingers the wheel that locked it. That's gonna be a bitch to open.

Damon points back, making a lifting motion with his hands but Caroline shakes her head, gesturing with her hands for him to get his ass over there. She grabs his hands and places them on the edge of the wheel, hers on the other and together, they turn it.

With more huffing and puffing, swallowing nearly a gallon of water, the door finally opens.

Oh, god...his brother...or what's left of him.

Damon has seen mummies before and it was never a pleasant sight. He's seen desiccated and broken bodies. Hell, he's ripped people from stem to stern before. But this...nothing could have ever prepared him for this.

This time, Caroline hits him on the arm and reaches down to grab onto what's left of Stefan's jacket. He helps her and pulls his brother's body up and wraps his own around him. He is surprised at just how heavy he is. Just how limp and lifeless he is.

And kicks for the surface.

* * *

Bonnie emit's a pained cry of relief when the first movement from the water registers in her brain. She feels her own knees give out and she sinks to the wet and chilly ground, watching as Damon's head finally breaks the surface, his brother clutched in his arms.

There is a shudder of frozen air and Bonnie staggers over to Damon and a nearly mummified Stefan. The water breaks again and Caroline hoists her body out of the water, crawling with enough strength towards the two brothers.

Damon lays Stefan down in the soft grass, propping his head up with his own balled up jacket.

"Caroline! Caroline, g-get the b-blood!" Damon manages to stutter out. Caroline grabs the four bags that laid by her discarded jacket and quickly tosses them to the elder Salvatore, scooping up her coat along the way and laying it over Stefan's torso.

Damon nearly drops the first blood bag, his fingers absolutely blue and numb from the cold. He pops the top and brings it to his brother's cracked and grey lips.

"Come on, Stefan," he murmurs. "Come on, I know you're still in there."

Bonnie reaches the three of them, falling to her knees at Stefan's head. Damon's hand contracts painfully around his brother's neck, his fingers practically kneading into his throat as if trying to force him to swallow.

Her eyes fall closed as she listens to Damon's pained whimper. Jesus, he actually fucking _whimpers_. She hears Caroline's soft sniffles and realizes that she is witnessing something truly different here. Something that she never thought she'd see in her short lifetime or even her afterlife.

"St-Stefan, please. _Please,_" Caroline begs, her hand resting on his shoulder.

And then Bonnie reaches out, her hand resting on top of Caroline's. Caroline's eyes open wide and she stares at her dead friend.

"B-Bonnie?"

Bonnie ignores her, concentrating with all of her might. She barely feels Damon's hand coming to rest on top of hers, his fingers probing in between hers to find some sort of anchor.

A light begins to shine through her hand, casting through the others. It starts to permeate into Stefan's shoulder, trickling down his arm and across his torso. The light is so bright but it doesn't burn, casting its warmth through the vampires and even the dead witch. The light continues to spread across Stefan's torso and into his other arm, shining right down to his fingertips. It goes down his legs and right to his booted feet, spreading to his toes and creeping out.

Damon watches this with wide eyes, feeling the warmth practically radiating through his brother. He greedily tries to suck it into his own body. Just to feel a bit of happiness that he missed so much, a little bit of joy...

He can feel Bonnie's beneath his and finds it in him to believe in miracles once again.

A loud gasp comes from his brother and that confirms it.

Bonnie falls back, her hands releasing themselves from Stefan's shoulders like she had been burned, heavy breaths escaping her mouth and blood trickling down from her nose.

Stefan arches up, his mouth open in a cry of agony before his lips clamp down on the open blood bag and begin to ravenously suck.

"Oh, thank god..." Damon whispers, his eyes tracing his brother's slowly healing body. His head leans down and his forehead presses against Stefan's temple. "Thank god."

Caroline lets out her own sigh of relief and pushes her wet curls out of her eyes. She looks up to check on Bonnie.

But Bonnie's gone.

And her whole world crashes down on her once again.

"Come on," Caroline finally says, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. "Let's get him to my house."

Damon doesn't answer her. His eyes peel around in the darkness, looking for the dark skinned girl that saved their lives. Similar heartbreak creases his eyes and Caroline finds herself believing in second chances. He slowly pushes himself to his feet and leans down. His left arm slides underneath his brother's back while the other pushes underneath his knees. He lifts him up easily despite the beating that they have all just taken.

And they walk.

* * *

Caroline slams the front door of her house so hard behind her that the whole house shakes. Damon carries Stefan over to the sofa and lays him down on it, his brother's limp form still wrapped in both of their jackets. Caroline is already at his side with more blood and a thick blanket off of the chair.

"Here," she says.

"Thanks," Damon whispers, taking the blood from her and nudging Stefan out of his slumber. "Hey there, little brother. Time for some dinner."

Stefan cracks open one eye, heaving the most dangerous glare that he can and winding up looking like a tired puppy. Of course, he doesn't turn down the blood.

Once the blood bag is drained, Stefan heaves a gasp. He sucks in as much air as he can before allowing his eyes to fall closed again.

"How did you find me?" he whispers, feeling Caroline's gentle hand on his forehead.

"Bonnie," Damon answers softly. "Bonnie found you."

"Bonnie? But-but how? She's-" The quick intake of breath from Caroline causes him to open his eyes again. "Bonnie's dead."

"We are well aware of that, brother. And we are also aware of some two thousand year old wack job running around wearing your face. By the way, care to explain that?"

"Damon-" Caroline cuts in. "Damon, not now."

"No, it's fine," Stefan says softly, reaching up a shaky hand and taking hers. Caroline winds her fingers through his, holding on so tight like he is about to disappear before their very eyes. "I'm his doppelganger."

"Huh?"

Stefan sighs again. "Long story."

Damon opens his mouth to retort but one hard look from Caroline and he snaps it shut again.

"We can talk about this in the morning," Caroline says. "Just sleep."

Damon can see Stefan's eyelids drooping already. He stands up and pulls the comforter up around his brother's throat, ignoring the stained blood on his drying clothes. He cocks his head at the space heater that sits in the corner and Caroline nods, turning it on. When a vampire was weak and hadn't fed in a long time, they might as well had been human since they felt every single little thing.

Once Stefan is asleep, Damon steps outside onto the porch, followed closely by Caroline. They stand in silence, the chill of the night air seeping through their damp clothes. Caroline wraps her arms around herself, running a hand through her tangled hair.

"She saved him," Caroline whispers. "Bonnie saved him."

"I know."

"We never would have found him if she hadn't-"

"I'm well aware of that, Caroline," Damon says slowly, his voice taking on a cruel edge that causes Caroline's hackles to raise.

"I'm sorry, Damon," she snaps. "I'm sorry that you were too stupid to realize that if you had pulled your head out of Elena's ass, maybe this never would have happened." She immediately regrets the words as soon as they slide out of her mouth but she doesn't take them back, turning on her heel and walking back into the house, closing the door behind her with a finality that rings through.

Damon winces at the slam, pain lacing his un-dead heart.

"Bonnie?" he whispers after a few moments. "Bonnie, are you here?"

More pain. God, there's just so much pain.

No answer. He can't even feel her anymore.

Oh, god...she's dead.

Bonnie's dead.

**.**

**.**

* * *

**Elena effectively ruined her friendship with Caroline during season 4 with all of her bullshit. It would make sense for Caroline to take it out a little bit on Damon because really, no one noticed that Bonnie had died. Why does Bonnie have to be so damn selfless?! Grr, she should have just taken Kol up on his offer. **

**Just a heads up, lots of Steroline in the next chapter. I think throughout this story is going to be equal amounts of Bamon and Steroline. We'll see how it goes. **

**Okay, I'm done with my rant. I hope you lovely people will leave a review and tell me what you think. Also, check out my new oneshot 'Mr. Magic Mike' which is totally Bamon. Thanks guys. Have a fun and safe week. **


	4. Let It Out

_**Let It Out**_

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

It's about an hour before dawn. Damon had left before but Caroline could sense that he was nearby.

Stefan still laid wrapped up like a burrito in blankets on the couch. Caroline thanked her lucky stars that her mother wasn't due home until about seven. That gave her enough time to get Stefan into some dry clothes and to pretend like nothing ever happened. Sometimes, Caroline had to thank her God or whatever was controlling the universe for her mother. Her mother, who allowed Stefan to camp out on the couch after he moved out of his own home when Elena moved in. Her mother, who took a while to accept her as a vampire but now knew that Caroline was still Caroline. She was still her because she had held on to who she was.

And that was enough.

"Better," he answers her softly, still staring at the half empty glass of blood in his hands. Since he had woken up, Caroline had been constantly pressing blood bags into his hands. The last thing she needed was for him to take off and drain someone dry because of how hungry he was.

"Finish that," Caroline says, pointing to the glass. "Finish that and then go up and have a hot shower and change. I still have some of your clothes in that duffel bag you left behind. Besides, I need to clean this mess up before my mom gets home."

That got him moving. Stefan drained the rest of the glass and set it down on the table. Caroline picked it up and disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later to find Stefan gone and hearing the sounds of the shower running upstairs.

Smiling to herself, Caroline set to cleaning up the rest of the living room, getting the damp and muddy blankets and jackets into the washing machine, taking the blow dryer to the wet pillows, and then going and changing her own clothes. She doesn't even bother to mess around with her hair, just tying it back in a loose plait. When she returns to the living room with her own glass of blood, she finds Stefan back on the couch, his hair wet from the shower and wearing a pair of sweatpants and a form fitting teeshirt.

"Stefan?"

"Two months, huh?"

Caroline felt her brows raise before she noticed the calendar pinned to the opposing wall, the days crossed off. The large bold letters of August glare back at her.

"Give or take a few days," she murmurs, lowering herself down onto the opposing chair of the couch that she normally occupied.

"How long, Caroline? How long?"

"How long, what?"

"How long until you figured out that he wasn't me? How long before you realized that my doppelganger wasn't me?" Caroline leans forward, her hoodie clad elbows resting on her knees. "Okay, first you are going to have to explain this whole 'doppelganger' bullshit to me and-"

"Caroline!"

"You left, Stefan!" Caroline burst out. "Or at least, I thought you did. I talked to you on the phone after Lexi went back and then I never heard from you again! I thought you took off, okay?! I knew how hurt you were about this whole thing with Elena and so I backed off."

Stefan looks away, his emerald eyes two pools of pained jade.

"It was only yesterday when I found out," Caroline whispers, cautiously inching forward. "Yesterday that I found out that my two best friends were gone and-"

"And Damon?" Stefan asks softly. "Elena? Does she know?"

"Damon found out a couple of days ago," Caroline responds. "Silas attacked him and that's when he figured it out. Elena-Elena doesn't know."

More pain skitters through those beautiful eyes. Caroline is practically sitting on her hands, wanting to reach out so badly. Wanting to take away that pain.

Stefan rises to his feet, turning around to face her. She can see the anger and the sadness and every other emotion that had been clogged up for the past two months and knows that it's all about to come spurting out. She quickly gets to her feet too.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to drown over and over and over again?" he asks her, his voice much quieter than she expected. "To see the faces of your loved ones in your mind and seeing them moving on without you?"

Caroline shakes her head, tears beginning to burn behind her eyes. "No. No, I don't."

"To see them not care?!"

"That's not true!" Caroline bursts out, suddenly angry. "That is the farthest thing from the truth!"

"Two months, Caroline!" Stefan snarls, veins peeking out underneath his eyes. "Two goddamned months!"

Caroline's silent for what seems like forever. Her lovely face is contorted into just a seemingly endless stretch of grief and sadness.

"Hit me."

Stefan's jaw drops.

"What?"

Caroline's long body goes into the fighting stance, challenge in her eyes. "Go ahead. Hit me. Just throw me through the wall. I know you want too. Get it all out."

Stefan rolls his eyes, pushing past Caroline. "Don't be ridiculous." He whips around when she catches his arm. "Hey-"

"Come on! I know you need to hit something and I'd rather you take it out on me rather than my mom's furniture or your brother's head. Actually, I'd love to see you take it out on Damon but that's another story."

Stefan stares at her for a second. "You're insane."

Caroline shrugs a not so delicate shoulder. "Maybe I am. But that's beside the point. Just go ahead and hit me."

"Don't be stupid. I am not going to hit you!"

He's looking at her like she's lost her mind and maybe she has.

That's when she takes a chance. A very stupid chance but hell, she's a vampire. She's gonna live forever.

Stefan stares when she slaps his arm. He catches her wrist when she raises her hand again, their faces inches apart.

"Don't."

"Then yell at me. Let it all out. I'll even let you break that ugly lamp over there."

Stefan drops her wrist like it's on fire and stomps away. She follows him close behind, unsurprised when he rips the front door wide open and slips through, disappearing from her sight. She speeds out and finds him less than a mile away in the woods, far away from human ears.

* * *

He walks slowly up the long driveway. He can see the light on in the upstairs window and knows that Elena must be awake.

Damon stops at the front door, his hand hovering painfully over the doorknob.

"Where are you, Bonnie?" he whispers into the night. "Where the hell did you go?"

"What does it matter?"

Her voice nearly makes him jump a foot in the air. He whirls around to find her standing mere feet away, looking like he had always remembered her.

Judgy and beautiful.

Her jade eyes are wide, full of something that he really can't pinpoint on. Her perfect pink mouth is set in a firm line and he can practically sense what she is about to say next.

"Don't."

"You called me here," Bonnie says softly. "And I came."

"And you disappeared before."

"Because I wasn't needed," she replies, her voice a tone colder. "You had all that you wanted. You've got your brother back and alive, albeit a few more inches of fucked up. Elena is awake and waiting for you, Caroline might hate you just a little bit less. Hell, Damon, you have it all."

Damon scoffs. "Yeah, I have it all," he says sarcastically. "I have the whole fucking world on a platter."

Bonnie raises a brow but doesn't reply, her olive orbs starting to harden.

"Well, there's one thing that I don't have anymore," Damon continues on, the alcohol that he had stolen from the closed down Grille starting to finally set in and fry his brain cells. "I don't have you-" Oh, god. Does he ever learn to shut his big fat mouth?

Yes, Bonnie looks just a little surprised. Okay, a hell of a lot surprised.

And then she disappears.

Damon's silver eyes probe the darkness. She's no where to be found.

"Fuck!"

* * *

When Caroline finds him, he's pummeling a tree over and over and over again.

She stands a few yards away, her arms folded in front of her chest. She watches, waiting for the right time to interrupt and put a stop to this.

When she hears his knuckles beginning to crackle into dust, that's when she acts.

She isn't too surprised when she's flung into a tree so hard that she feels a vertebrae crack.

This is good. He's venting. He's letting it out.

_Shit_ that hurt!

Stefan stares at her, eyes wide.

"Fucking-Caroline, are you all right?!"

She manages a weak nod as she pops the vertebrae back into place. "Peachy-keen."

Stefan looks like he wants to reach out to her, to check her over and make sure that she's okay but than again, he's the one that caused this. And then again, she's the one who interrupted his boxing match with a maple.

When Caroline rises to her feet, she walks right up to her friend. They stand mere inches apart, their unneeded breaths mingling together.

And then she wraps her arms around him, pulling him against her in a rib breaking embrace.

It still manages to surprise him just how soft she is, even for a vampire. He had barely touched her when she was a human, just that one time when they were dancing.

And then that other time when he carried her away after Logan had attacked her.

He remembers how soft she was then. He remembers thinking that maybe-God, just maybe in a different world, things could have been, well _different. _If Elena had never been in the picture, he might have gone for the bubbly blond that had given him his first smile when he returned to Mystic Falls after fifty years. Who, even after she had been turned, managed to make him laugh out loud over the stupidest things possible. God, she even talked him into sitting down and watching freaking Jersey Shore with her.

Now that's magic.

He remembers her scent, how death never really leaked into her body. Just the sweet smell of honey and violets, lavender and crème. Not even Elena smelled that exquisite.

Caroline was far from perfect. She always tried to be perfect, to be the best. She never had to be because she had a heart that was as big as all outdoors. A soul that held the capacity for compassion even for soulless creatures like him. A way to kick some serious ass when need be.

His best friend.

"_She's cute." _

"_Don't even start." _

As her strong and safe and amazing and so alive embrace tightened around him, he reminded himself that he was out of his watery tomb. That he was alive (ish) and well (ish) and was going to be okay.

Hell, maybe he could even try to be civil towards Damon.

After a century or two.

It's forgiveness and joy that he finds himself holding onto as his arms finally lift up and wrap around her tiny waist.

Oh, god, he's missed her.

"Let it out," she whispers into his still damp hair. "Let it all out."

So he does.

The tears that come are boiling hot. The sobs that wrack his body will leave him sore in the morning and he knows this from experience. The sobs continue on even when he runs out of tears, the sheer agony of it all finally catching up to him.

It doesn't matter if he has a crazy psycho doppelganger that's running around still pretending to be him. It doesn't matter if he's less than two miles away from the Boarding house that had been his home ever since he could remember. It doesn't matter if the girl who had absolutely torn out his heart and ripped it into a million pieces was laying in his brother's bed, probably laying next to his brother. None of it mattered anymore.

He was home. Home in this girl's arms.

"I'm here," Caroline breathes, her voice choked with her own tears. "Hold onto me."

* * *

"Damon?"

He's kind of confused when he feels ice slip down his spine at the sound of her voice. Her voice that used to make him feel like he was floating away on cloud nine.

Now...

"I'm all right," he answers Elena as she opens her mouth to ask him another question. "Just a nightmare. I had to sit out here for a while."

"But-"

Damon shakes his head. "Go back to bed, Elena. Everything's fine."

The doppelganger shakes her head, tightening her loose robe around her thin form. She lowers herself down onto the stoop beside him, a hand reaching out for his.

And he pulls his away.

Hurt crosses her face. "Damon, what's the matter?

Damon shakes his head again.

"Nothing, Elena."

With that, he rises off the stoop and walks into the house, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Bonnie watches both exchanges from afar, unseen by the girl that she loves the most as she comforts the boy that she herself loves the most. The ghost can't help the sigh of relief that leaves her lips, knowing that it's finally happening for the two of them. No matter how much she cared for Elena, she had hoped that Stefan would find someone and move on from her eventually because all he did was hurt.

Around Caroline, he didn't hurt.

Around Caroline, she didn't hurt.

That familiar and quite irritating pull yanks her in and she slumps down into the lawn of the Boarding house early enough to witness the gruff exchange between Elena and Damon. She watches as Damon brushes Elena off and walks into the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving behind his hurt and bewildered girlfriend.

Bonnie fights that pull, staying near the stoop to watch Elena. To really watch her, to read anything in those doe eyes.

"Elena, can you hear me?"

She has to try. Try for the last time.

The doppelganger continues to stare ahead into the night, oblivious to the presence beside her.

And Bonnie feels nothing. She feels nothing for this girl.

She's done.

* * *

Damon emit's a tiny cry of surprise that quickly dies in his throat.

Bonnie watches him, those big jade eyes just so sad.

"You can't keep doing this. You've got to stop popping up every time I turn around," he says, his handsome and haughty face expressionless.

Bonnie raises a brow. "Then stop thinking about me all the time."

His own brows contract. "aa-huh?"

"That's why I show up like this," she says, her voice dull. Almost like it never matters. None of it ever mattered. "You think about me and I'm here."

"Then why is when I need you the most, you aren't there?!" Damon suddenly spits out angrily, pain in his eyes. "You keep disappearing!"

Bonnie weakly shrugs a shoulder. "I don't know, Damon."

Damon throws up his hands in frustration, stalking past her and deeper into his bedroom. He prays that Elena doesn't hear any of this. She already thinks he's losing what's left of his marbles. Maybe he is. Maybe this is all in his head. Just a crazy, wacked out dream from too much booze.

He then remembers that Caroline can see her too and hope rises in his dead heart.

"My life was good, Bonnie," he spits out, whirling around to face her, almost surprised that she's still there and hasn't disappeared again. "I finally got the girl, I didn't have to make my brother feel like crap anymore, the town was safe," he says, adding just a bit of jest on the last word. "And then I find out you're dead, my brother's at the bottom of the lake, and I losing my fucking mind!"

"That's not my fault, Damon!" Bonnie replies scathingly. "I didn't ask for this!"

"Then why did you have to die?!"

The words escape his mouth faster than he can control them. They hang in the air for a split second, Damon wishing that he could grab them up and shove them back into his mouth.

Bonnie feels a quick intake of breath, letting it come out in a small sigh.

"If you need me so much," she whispers, "Then why did you wish me dead in the first place?"

Damon blinks and she's gone.

"Damn it!"

**.**

**.**

* * *

**I apologize for the large amount of Steroline in this chapter. I know this is marked Bamon but I have to have some Steroline in there too. I am going to try and keep Steroline on the low key and have them just be supporting, all things Bamon. **

**Bamon seems to be so much easier to write than Kennett. Maybe it's because we know more about Damon and his shittiness but also his need for approval and acceptance. Jeez, around Elena, he ain't gonna get it. Just sayin'. But we do, we know so much more about Damon than we ever will about Kol and that's sad. Plec left it to the fanfiction writers to continue on Kol's story, to create it and make it their own and who agrees with me that it's very difficult? But the beauty of all of it is that there is only one woman that could be either of their equals and that's Bonnie. **

**Okay, Bamon/Kennett rant over. **

**It's kind of plausible that Damon is wondering if he is losing his mind. This is all just happening so fast, all in a matter of hours and to find out that the person that you care about the most outside of your brother has died saving all of your lives and keeps popping up every time you turn around, it does kind of give you a reason to question your sanity. This is also the way Elena is going to be dropped off canvas, just so you know. **

**That last line from Bonnie refers to when Damon said 'I don't give a crap about Bonnie Bennett' when Shane questioned him about his tie to Bonnie and also 'I will gladly let the witch die' in "The Last Dance". Bonnie has very big ears. Of course she'd overhear all of that. **


	5. I Should Go

_**I Should Go**_

* * *

_**(a/n: **_**I know I said I wouldn't be including song lyrics for this story like I did with my Kennett story but I couldn't resist. And this song, I know it's a Stelena song but it fits so well for Bamon and Steroline. So give a listen while you read.)**

**.**

**.**

'i should go  
before my will gets any weaker  
and my eyes begin to linger  
longer than they should  
i should go, before i lose my sense of reason  
and this hour holds more meaning  
than it ever could  
i should go, baby i should go' **  
****-'i should go', levi kreis**

**.**

**.**

"Caroline."

She nearly jumps out of her chair at the sound of her mother's voice. How she didn't even hear her mother's patrol car is a wonder but then again...

"Hi Mom," Caroline whispers, looking up at her mother. "How was work?"

Liz Forbes shrugs off her jacket, her eyes skating over to the sleeping vampire on her sofa. She focuses on the mere inches that were between him and her daughter and emit's a tiny sigh.

"Dull," she replies softly. Her nose picks up the smell of dampness and she notices how flat and messy Caroline's hair is. Even early in the morning, Caroline always manages to look prim and perfect. Something was up. "Honey, what's going on?"

Caroline subconsciously shifts herself closer to the still unconscious Stefan, her hand gripping the television remote. She hit's the mute button and glances up at her mother.

"What do you mean?"

"Like why do you look like a wreck, Stefan-who I haven't seen in weeks-looks like death warmed over, and do I detect the smell of lake water on my couch pillows?"

Caroline scoffs quietly. "Jeez, I'd swear you were a vampire with that nose of yours."

With that, she pulls herself off the sofa, making sure that the comforter is still tucked around Stefan's shoulders and follows her mother into the kitchen where Liz begins to brew a pot of strong black coffee.

"Spill, young lady."

Caroline raises a blond brow. She wants to tell her mother what happened. She wants to tell her everything. But she also knows that her mother will spring into Sheriff mode. She will want to alert the new council, to figure out a new way to protect the town.

But there is no way.

And that's the scariest part of it.

So she lies.

"Stefan got hurt really bad," she says softly. Well, it's not exactly a lie. It's the closest to the truth that she is ever going to get. "He showed up here weak and wet and I brought him in. He just had some blood and a shower and has been sleeping it off ever since."

Liz places a mug of coffee in front of her on the kitchen counter, her pretty face pulled in concern.

"Is he all right?"

Caroline nods. "Yeah, he's okay now. He's all healed up. Still scared me though."

"I'm sure it did."

"You're sure what did?"

A sleepy voice makes them both jump again. Caroline lets out an audible sigh. She's gonna have to get her vampire hearing checked.

The Forbes women turn to look in the doorway of the kitchen, spying the tired vampire teenager standing there, his fair locks rumpled up into a disarray all over his head. Caroline has to hide her smile because really, he is just too cute.

"Good morning, Stefan," Liz says softly. She pours another cup of coffee and sets it on the counter next to Caroline's.

Stefan raises a brow, surprised at the gesture. "Thank you," he whispers, picking up the cup and taking a long draft from it.

Caroline watches him drink, practically seeing the warmth returning to his body. Liz catches the glance and feels a smile creasing her lips.

"I'm going to go get some sleep," she says. "Call me if you need anything, ok honey?"

Caroline nods. "Thanks, Mom."

Liz gently brushes around the counter, pressing a kiss to the crown of Caroline's head and passing by Stefan. Before she does, she pats him lightly on the arm in a way Caroline guesses is supposed to be motherly or something. Oh, well. At least her mother's trying.

Once Liz is out of the kitchen and safely out of earshot, Stefan slowly shuffles over to the other free stool and lowers himself down.

"No offense, but you look terrible."

The older vampire scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, you look like Princess Diana."

Caroline chuckles. "Watch it, bud."

For the first time in what seems like forever, Stefan laughs. He actually laughs. Caroline just wants to snatch that sound out of the air, stuff it in a bottle, cork it, and keep it one a shelf for safe-keeping. It is the most beautiful sound that she has ever heard in her whole entire life.

"I'm so sorry about Bonnie, Caroline."

Sudden tears burn in her eyes as she remembers that she hasn't seen Bonnie since they had fished Stefan out of the water. She wonders for a second if she is ever going to see her again. If that was just a one time thing to save Stefan.

None of it makes sense. None of it.

That doesn't make it hurt any less.

"She died from an overuse of Expression," she whispers. "She-she-Silas had-"

Stefan's hackles begin to rise at the mention of his doppelganger. Of course it all led back to him. Everything led back to him.

"Caroline, you don't have too."

Said Caroline shakes her head. "No, I want too. She's been gone two months and I never even knew it, Stefan!"

Stefan stays silent, his eyes gentle. God, those eyes...

And for a moment, Caroline wonders why the hell she ever fell for Tyler or even Klaus.

Perfection was always at an arm's reach.

Her thoughts go running back to Bonnie and guilt flushes through her veins. She knows that Bonnie came back, somehow fought her way back from the Other Side, to get to them and to help them find Stefan. To let them know that Silas was much closer than they ever thought and-

She wanted her friend back. She wanted her beautiful witch friend back. She wanted to watch Bonnie perform some of those amazing feats of magic that Caroline had always envied. She wanted to be the lucky one to witness that beauty again.

She wanted her friend to be able to live a beautiful long life like she deserved.

But no, Bonnie's life was cut short to protect this godforsaken town.

"I just want my friend back, Stefan," Caroline finally whispers, feeling his fingers curl over hers. "I want to see her happy and alive and free without pain. She never deserved any of this."

Guilt flashes in Stefan's eyes and she lets out a sigh. "I didn't mean that against you, Stefan," she whispers.

Stefan shakes his head. "No, no. You're absolutely right, Caroline."

"Stefan-"

The older vampire gets to his feet and walks from the kitchen, taking those ridiculously long strides that she has to run to keep up with. She ups her speed and manages to get to the living room seconds later, watching wide eyed from the doorway as he begins to shove what's left of his clothing into the discarded duffel bag that he had shown up here with less than a six months ago.

"What are you doing?" she whispers, knowing very well that he can hear her perfectly.

"This has nothing to do with you," Stefan says softly, still not looking at her. "But you are right. Ever since I came back to this town, all of this crap has happened. You became a vampire, Bonnie's grandmother died, Elena became a vampire, Viki, Lexi died-" his voice cracks on that last word and her undead heart breaks all over again. He raises those sad green eyes to look her way and she finds herself being studied. Almost like he was trying to memorize her face.

"I should go."

Caroline shakes her head. "No. No, you don't get to do that. And even if you do, god, I won't be far behind. Do you understand?"

His eyes are wide and shiny. She pretends that it's just the low lamplight and steps forward and quickly wraps her arms around his neck without any kind of reason.

She feels him stiffen up for a moment, his arms rigid at his sides. She only pulls him closer.

And he relaxes moments later, his large hands coming to rest on the small of her back, that warmth so steady that she never realized that she had been missing this for so long.

* * *

"Did I tell you that Matt was coming over today?"

Damon looks up from the book that he is currently browsing and not really reading to find Elena's doe eyes watching him from across the room.

He eyes her curiously for a moment, reading her body language quite easily. True to Elijah's word, Elena was a bad liar and she was horrible at hiding how she really felt (at least, with her humanity turned on). He wasn't stupid. He could tell she was worried about him.

It had been twenty seven hours since he had seen Bonnie last. Since that last moment in his bedroom before he had pushed her from his mind, he had been working so hard on keeping his thoughts devoid of her. He kept trying like hell to fill them back up with Elena, with seeing his brother (even though he had yet to go see him since saving his ass), even duking it out with Blondie.

And so far, it had worked.

The mention of Boy Wonder and well...

"Damon!"

Said Damon jumps about a mile in the air when the caramel skinned beauty appears behind Elena. If looks could kill, he'd have joined her on the Other Side by now, jesus.

"What's the matter?" Elena asks, her brown eyes widening. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Ok, that's not funny. Not funny at all.

"No, I'm fine," Damon says softly, trying desperately to rip his eyes from the witch and back onto his girlfriend. His _girlfriend_. The girl he had fought so damn hard for. Fuck, he isn't going to let a dead witch get under his skin like this.

Elena catches his wiggly eyes and turns, desperate to find out what the hell exactly he is looking at. She turns around, facing Bonnie, and winds up walking right through her.

Bonnie lets out a small shriek, placing a hand to her chest. Having your former best friend walk right through you and not even know that you're there is a little creepy. In more ways than one.

Damon watches her with wide eyes for a moment before wrenching his attention away and back to the slowly irritated doppelganger.

"What did you say?"

Elena rolls her eyes. "I said, Matt's going to be here in about an hour and well-he's bringing Rebekah with him."

Both of Damon's eyebrows threaten to disappear into his hairline.

"Boy Wonder is bringing Barbie Klaus with him? I thought she followed the big bad hybrid brother of hers to New Orleans?"

Elena looks increasingly uncomfortable. "Well, uh-"

"Well, uh-what, Elena? What the hell is going on?"

Bonnie disappears.

"I'm trying to make this right, okay? After that whole-_thing _that happened, I am really not interested in having a bunch of enemies anymore. Just put on your happy face and suck it up for an hour. They're leaving town again tonight."

"Another roadtrip?" Damon asks, becoming quite disinterested. His thoughts skate back to Bonnie and he gives himself a slap.

Said Bonnie reappears, a murderous look on her face, right in front of him. He takes a quick step backward and nearly falls right on his ass. Elena speeds over to him and manages to snap her fingers around his upper arms before he takes the tumble.

"Are you okay?" she asks, her eyes full of worry.

Damon gently shakes her off, his eyes looking past her for the now invisible ghost. "Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

Elena glares disbelievingly back at him. "Damon, what is wrong with you? For the last four days, you've been acting like a stranger. It's like-it's like you don't want to be near me anymore."

Oh, crap.

If Damon could have slapped himself at that moment, he would have. This was Elena. This was the girl he had fought so hard to get and he had been practically blowing her off to obsess over the witchy ghost that he couldn't stand.

"Elena, I'm sorry. I really am," Damon says softly, reaching out to gently place his hands on her bare shoulders. "I don't know why my head's been so screwed up lately, I guess it's vampire fatigue." At the tiny grin that crosses her lips, Damon knows he's home free.

"Yeah, right," Elena smirks, leaning up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. "I forgive you this time."

He returns the kiss, deepening it. "Next time you can kick my ass. How about that?"

Elena chuckles softly. "Can I get that in writing?"

He laughs too, his arms twining around her waist, all thoughts of Bonnie fading away.

* * *

"I'll be back in about an hour. I have to go to the store."

Damon groaned, watching as Elena pulls her long body out of bed and starts slowly pulling on her clothing. His eyes trace every curve of her body as they slowly disappear, covered up by loose and comfortable clothing. He stays in bed as she finishes dressing and runs her fingers through her mussed hair.

"Don't," he says with a smirk. "Leave it like that."

"Damon, I have bed head!"

"That's the point," Damon replies.

Elena rolls her eyes. "Whatever you say, big boy," she sighs. She turns around and leans over the bed, pressing her mouth to his. "I will be back in an hour. Behave yourself."

"Yes dear."

With a laugh, the brunette beauty disappears, leaving him oh so alone in their large bedroom.

He lays there in their large bed, still feeling her soft long fingered hands all over him. He had always loved the touch of her hands. Just how soft and gentle they were, never striking, never hurtful.

And then his thoughts begin to travel to a much different set of hands. Hands that were smaller than Elena's. Softer. That could pack a hard punch if need be and she wouldn't even touch him.

He remembered the way those fingers had fit perfectly in between his as he twirled her around the dance floor that nearly fatal night.

Holding her lifeless body in his arms...

"I know you're here."

He hears her restless sigh from the shadows and squints, watching as her outline comes into form before him.

"You've got to stop this," Bonnie whispers softly.

Damon rises up out of the bed, ignoring the witch's mortified look as he stands before her buck-assed naked. He snatches his jeans off the floor and yanks them on quickly, pivoting in place to find her staring.

"Like what you see?"

"Damon!"

"So what, Bonnie?!" Damon snaps suddenly. "So what if I can't stop thinking about you? So what if I think about you when I am making love to my girlfriend?! What the fuck does this matter?"

Bonnie glares at him menacingly. She winds up looking like a pissed off puppy.

"This is sick. And it's wrong. You-you are the reason why I am still here!" she snarls back.

As the words hang in the air, Bonnie wishes she could grab them and stuff them back into her mouth.

It made sense to her a while ago. It made sense why even though Caroline could see her too, it was always Damon that was pulling her back. For all of those moments that she thought she could finally fully shift over to the other side, to track down her Grams-

And then she would feel Damon's thoughts and would wind up popping up right before him.

She didn't even feel Jeremy anymore.

Jeremy, the love of her life. Jeremy, the guy that she gave up her life for! She didn't have to do it. Jeremy had accepted being dead. He had told her time and time again that if anything, anything at all ever happened to him after all those stupid brushes with death, to not do anything. To just let him go.

She shouldn't be here.

This wasn't right. She needed to move on.

She didn't want to just sit here and watch her friends move on.

"I should go."

When Damon hears her words, he knows that this is it.

This is real.

He can feel her pulling away from his grasp and he quickly reaches out, trying to grab on. To hold onto anything.

To keep her there.

"Bennett, you're not going anywhere."

Bonnie sighs, feeling the warm tears finally starting to fill her eyes.

"Say goodbye to Caroline for me. And tell her I love her," she whispers. When Damon reaches out an ivory skinned hand, she neatly dodges it, her tears spilling over.

Desperation cracks his undead heart and a tear falls onto his chest.

"Bonnie-"

Another tear falls and he swipes at it angrily. Why the hell is he crying? What the blazing hell is wrong with him?

He can see her fading. Damn, it was really was like the stupid romantic drama movies. She was literally disappearing into a harsh mist right before his very eyes.

"Bonnie!"

But Bonnie isn't there.

Bonnie's gone.

**.**

**.**

* * *

**That's it for the moment. Matt and Rebekah are coming in next chapter and of course, Bonnie will be returning after a swift verbal ass-kicking from someone on the Other Side. Can you guess who? ;)**

**God, the Delena was so difficult to write. Honestly, it's just puke-worthy. I do apologize to any Delena shippers that are reading this, it's no offense to you guys. I am trying so hard to not make Elena out to be a villain here because, honestly, she's not. She's just clueless. I can't find it in me to hate her but I tolerate her. I used to really like her but the writing has gone so downhill. Even Nina has spoken about how she prefers Katherine over Elena. Kind of sad when the actors are speaking about how they dislike their characters. **

**That's all for now, my babies. I hope you liked and don't forget to leave me your thoughts. Have a safe and happy week. **


	6. Home

_**Home**_

* * *

"You must be the biggest idiot I have ever met."

She whirls around and finds herself looking into a pair of honeyed brown eyes that she had gazed longingly at less than two months ago.

_What are we waiting for? Let's do it together. _

God, sometimes she wished she had taken him up on his offer.

"How the hell did you get here?" she murmurs, hot tears beginning to gather behind her eyes again. She presses a palm to her eye, a tiny sob escaping her lips.

Kol doesn't look any more sympathetic than he did the night he had seen her body. For just a split moment that fatal night, she thought she had seen it. A little sliver of humanity in his eyes that he had hidden from the world for so long. It was that moment that she had wanted to take the hand that he extended to her. To be selfish for once and lash out at the ones that had hurt her.

She couldn't do that. Oh, god, she couldn't do that.

And then sometimes, she wished she could turn back time. To allow herself to be stronger than all of this and just take control. To fight for herself and herself only.

To not give a damn.

"That's a good question, little witch," Kol says softly, his eyes tracing her trembling form. "That's a good question."

* * *

"He doesn't want to see you."

Damon sighs softly, trying to peer over the top of the golden mass of hair that is Caroline's head.

"He is my brother. I think I have a right to see him whether he likes it or not," Damon replies before pushing past the blond and into the Forbes home.

"Damon, I don't think you should be here," Caroline snaps, quickly following the elder Salvatore as he darts up the stairs. Caroline thanks her lucky stars that her mother left for work early.

"Oh, I didn't know you could think, Blondie-" Damon begins to say as he reaches Caroline's bedroom door. And as the words leave his mouth, the door opens and a fist comes flying out, landing right in the center of Damon's jaw.

Caroline lets out a shriek as the vampire comes catapulting down the stairs, landing with a sickening thud in a heap at the bottom.

"Is that the thanks I get after fishing your ass out of the lake?" Damon groans, rolling over onto his front after he snaps a rib back into place.

"Thanks?" Stefan repeats, still at the top of the stairs. "Thanks? Yes, thank you, Damon. Thank you for noticing that I was gone and some psycho was wearing my face after two months! Thank you very much, brother!"

With the blink of an eye, Stefan was at the bottom of the stairs and heaving his brother up by the shirt, pinning him against the wall with his fist. Damon groans in pain as Stefan's thumb presses into his jugular and begins to push-

"Hey!" Caroline's voice is almost like a call from heaven. "If you are going to beat the hell out of each other, do it outside!"

Stefan ignores her, continuing to press his fist into Damon's throat. Damon's choking and-

"Stefan, knock it off!"

The hand leaves Damon's throat just as a gust of wind blows by. He falls to his knees and begins to cough and gag, hacking up bits of dark blood onto Caroline's clean wooden floor. He manages to peer up through teary eyes and sees Caroline holding Stefan in a half-nelson and rapidly losing. He can barely hear their argument over the roar in his eyes.

"If you rip his head off now, I am going to have a hell of a mess to clean up and explain to my mom and you are going to hate yourself in the morning!" Caroline snarls. Damon can see the hint of fangs peeking through. "Now knock it off!"

"I can't!" Stefan growls back, his own fangs already out. "Do you have any idea what it's like to drown over and over and over again?!"

And that's when he pulls out of Caroline's arms and flies at Damon once again.

* * *

"You do realize if you were here, you would be giving them those horrifying headaches that you do love to give out."

Bonnie winces at Kol's words and as the door to the Forbes house goes flying off the hinges and the two vampires do finally take their fight outside. A frustrated Caroline stands on the porch, occasionally shouting 'jerk' and 'ass' after the two brothers as they continue to tussle and punch and kick every inch that they can reach of each other.

"I'm dead. I'm not supposed to be here anymore," Bonnie says at last, turning her eyes away from the raven haired man that is somehow keeping her here.

"But you are, Bonnie," Kol replies. Bonnie has to look away from the longing in those brown eyes. It makes her dead heart hurt way too much. "And you need to take advantage of that."

"It's not natural!" Bonnie suddenly bursts out.

"Look at us!" Kol growls. "None of us are natural! We are all nothing but vampires and witches and hunters that come back to life time and time again."

"And what am I supposed to do, huh?!" Bonnie says. "Am I supposed to let them find a way to bring me back? At what cost, Kol? I am not going to let any of them do that, not even Damon Salvatore!"

The annoyed glare that Kol heaves her way could have broken glass.

"You are too good for your own good, Bonnie Bennett," Kol says softly, his voice radiating so much pain and sorrow that Bonnie feels tears starting to burn behind her eyes. "You need to be selfish."

"That's not who I am. I just-"

"You always have to help others, to save the day-bla bla bla. Well fuck that," Kol growls. "If you wanna help others, you allow that pissy ass to see you and let them do what they can to get you breathing again, understand? Bonnie, I have lived a thousand years. I lost my life all that time ago and I had everything I was holding dear ripped away. But I adapted. I learned how to take control, no matter how others looked down their nose at me. I didn't give a flying shit-"

"Wait a minute-" Bonnie cuts him off by grabbing his hand. Alarm registers in both of their faces at the contact. His words-god, those words- "You were one, weren't you?" she asks, irritating compassion starting to leak through her. "You were a witch."

"Us males prefer the term 'warlock'," Kol says softly. "But yeah. Not for long. I was eighteen when I was turned and I had just started showing powers a year before."

"So it wasn't Rebekah or Finn-? I always thought-"

The fight that they were watching has come to a standstill. Caroline has finally broken it up, receiving a snapped arm in the process. She is currently shrieking out her distaste for the two morons as she snaps her arm back into place. She's got a bloody and bruised Damon by the ear and she's got Stefan by the ear as well.

"Okay, you two are so my bitches now," Caroline grunts in anger as she drags them both back up to the house.

"Everybody did," Kol says. "I didn't brag about it too much." His eyes dart over to Caroline and a half smile appears. "No wonder my brother likes her so much."

Bonnie cannot help but silently agree with Kol.

"You have a chance, Bonnie," Kol says softly. There is so much pain and longing in his voice and it cuts right through the young witch. "A chance to come back. Don't give it up because you have to be selfless."

She glances up into his eyes. "What do you think would have happened if you hadn't been turned?" she asks. "Who would you have been?"

The corner of his mouth turns up in a sad smile. "To tell you the honest truth, I don't know. I didn't have the chance to even try."

Bonnie cocks her head to the side, her sheet of dark hair curling around one shoulder. She finds herself studying his face, unable to push back that wonder she had felt from the moment that she laid eyes on him in the college hallway.

She never told anyone this but-but, she had seen a life. For a split moment in time, she had seen a life with this copper haired stranger where she ruled the world and never let herself get hurt again. Kol offered her that-he offered her a life as the queen of darkness and destruction.

He offered her a life with no pain.

But that's how a person lives. They live through the pain, they fight for that human existence and a reach out into a world where you would always get hurt.

A blue eyed asshole offered her that.

No matter how hard he tried to act like he just didn't give a damn, well, he did. He gave such a big damn that it was almost heartbreaking to watch.

And watching this right now, this stupid idiotic fight between him and the brother that would always choose him over a girl-she finally believed it.

It really pissed her off that Damon Salvatore was her link into this world.

But-

"They're in New Orleans now," she finds herself murmuring. "They're safe."

She feels Kol stiffen beside her.

"I'm well aware."

Bonnie chances a glance at her companion and almost reaches out to touch his shoulder. Her hand freezes in mid air and she quickly pulls it away, letting it fall back to her side.

"Go to them, Kol," Bonnie whispers. "Just be there."

"They can't see me or feel me. What is the use?"

This time, Bonnie does wrap her fingers around his wrist, allowing that gentle pressure to rain through before he fades away right before her very eyes.

"Because they miss you," she murmurs to the empty air.

* * *

"I have to go. Elena will be back at the house soon and I think Boy Wonder's already there."

Damon drops the now empty blood bag into the trash bin, a hand still resting on his own shoulder as he walks past a still very irritated blonde and into the living room, his eyes set on the door.

Caroline vamp speeds in front of him, slamming the door shut just as he reaches it.

"Oh, no you don't. You are not going anywhere until you straighten this out with your brother."

"Blondie, you tried to kick me out when I came over to talk with him. You're right, he doesn't wanna see me."

Said Blondie blows up. "Are you freaking serious?! You might as well make another effort! You cannot just give up, Damon!"

"Elena-"

"Fuck Elena!"

Whoa.

_Ok. _

Damon stares.

Caroline shakes her head again, her fingers loosening from their fists at last. "I cannot believe I am saying this but you need to forget about Elena for once in your life and think about your brother. _Your brother who has done absolutely everything for you_. He was willing to walk away from Elena just so you could be happy and he wound up a thousand leagues under the sea, don't you understand?!"

"I get that, Caroline! I fucking get that! But he won't let me in!"

"Yes he will!" Caroline practically shrieks. "Just try instead of fighting." Her voice drops a couple of octaves. "Just try."

Damon shakes his head, sadness clenching his heart and his soul.

"Sorry, Care. I can't."

* * *

Bonnie watches all of this, tears starting to burn behind her eyes.

She hates herself at that moment more than anything. She never should have allowed herself to be seen. She never should have even remotely have come in any kind of contact with Damon Salvatore.

And if she hadn't, he would be dead. Silas would have-

God, why did she care so much? Why?! She should be happy to see him roast on spigot like a pig, an apple in his mouth to add to the effect. She shouldn't-she shouldn't give a damn.

And then she sees those tears when she breaks the connection. She felt his pain and it physically hurt her that he was hurting. She felt the confusion, the pain-the self loathing.

Oh, God.

Bonnie looks up in time to see the door to Caroline's home open and close violently and a raven haired vampire comes stomping out, looking more confused and angrier than ever. For a brief moment, she wants to just wrap her arms around him and take away all of his pain-

_Bonnie, what the hell is wrong with you?  
_

Okay, moment over.

She steps back to eye him as he continues to stomp down the steps and strides across the lawn, stopping just as he approaches the same tree that Stefan had tried to annihilate the night before. He takes his turn with him, landing his fist right in the center of the poor tree's trunk.

"Fuck!" he cries out, yanking his hand out of the wood and bark, his wild eyes staring at the already healing wounds.

_You have a chance, Bonnie. Don't waste it. _

Bonnie hates it when men are right. It really just-god, it pisses her off.

* * *

Damon jumps violently at the sight of the dead witch, his stomach turning over.

"What the hell, Bonnie," he chokes, wiping the rest of the excess blood off of his hand and onto his black jeans.

"Thanks for the greeting," Bonnie smirks, brushing a loose curl out of her eyes.

"I thought you left. For good."

"I had second thoughts. And an annoying friend yelling at me over there."

"Over there?" Damon raises a thick brow. "Really?"

"Sarcasm is always appreciated, Damon," Bonnie murmurs. Her eyes glance down to his palm. "How's the hand?"

"Peachy."

They both glance at his still healing knuckles for a moment, lost in the silence and the loss of it all.

And then Damon's cell phone rings.

Damon flinches violently, his palm brushing against his blurred eyes as his other hand claws at his jeans pocket. He sees the text from Elena and lets out a sigh, feeling more confused and angrier than ever. He replaces the phone, turning around to gaze at the long stretch of road ahead of him.

What was this? What the hell was all of this? He had never given a damn about the witch before.

Had he?

"Don't walk away," Bonnie suddenly says.

Damon looks back and sees wide silvery green eyes gazing back at him. A pair of eyes that he could dream about.

That he wanted to dream about.

_Don't walk away, Damon. _

In his whole life, Damon Salvatore has loved four people. And has been hurt by four people.

He hates being hurt. He hates not being chosen-being second best. He doesn't want to be second best again. And now, god, _now _he's needed. He's needed by one person that has always looked out for him, taken care of him.

"Will you be there?" he asks, those eyes coming back into soft focus.

Bonnie nods, the tiniest of smiles creasing her lips.

"Always."

**.**

**.**

* * *

**I apologize for the late update. A lot of tough stuff going on at home. **

**Some reviews would be really cheer me up. :)**

**Thanks guys. Have a great and safe weekend. **


End file.
